What is a ‘New Normal’?
How do I get there?
Why do I want to?
A ‘New Normal’ related to grief is finding a way to get back to a hopeful and happy life after a traumatic loss. You can’t really get back to your ‘old normal’ because your loved one was too big a part of that. You won’t ever be able to be entirely the way you were with them physically in your life. But that doesn’t mean you can’t heal, recover and be ‘whole’ again… I did, you can too. And they can still be part of your life, just in a different way.
Why do you want to have a ‘New Normal?” Because you want to feel good again, whole, productive — even happy. Your life is not over, it is just entering a new phase and there is a painful transition to get there – but it is SO worth it!
Having a focus on LOVE is a big part of that recovery. With time and effort, you can use love to clear your path to that ‘New Normal’. You can start that by writing down positive memories of your loved one – funny stories, quirks, jokes, about them at any age. Ideally, you have someone to share those memories with and laugh over together, someone who knew them and can add to the stories. It is okay if they didn’t know them, tell the listener about your loved one. If you don’t have anyone to tell, write to me – on my site through ‘Contact’ or email or comment on this blog, I will reply.
Then when you have sad thoughts missing your loved one, look at your positive memory list and try to shift to a pleasant thought of them instead. You can’t help but feel a little better as you smile, thinking about their antics or their great personality, and what a gift they were to you! That lightens your energy, raises your energy vibration level and I’m guessing your loved one can feel it. It makes you closer to their energy vibration level and it might even make it easier for them to connect with you. That connection also takes quiet time, as well as learning to feel and trust your intuition — I can show you how.
Another great way to lighten your mood and energy is to reach out and help others. You feel better when helping someone, their gratitude makes you feel good. You take the focus off yourself and your pain. It’s definitely a win-win!
How do you make progress in your healing? There are many steps and tools. Your grief is very unique to you. So are the methods that WORK FOR YOU. But one very cathartic tool that works for most is journaling. Let your feelings spill out on paper – no one ever has to read them. It’s cathartic to write them down – or type them. You can save or burn them, it doesn’t matter – but let those feelings go! If great to acknowledge your deepest pain and fears, get them out in the light and let them go. This may not be possible immediately, but it gets a little easier and feels better each time. When you release that sad energy – it dissipates. Let the universe absorb it. You do not need to hold onto that pain – regardless of what others think — don’t let society make you feel guilty or prevent you from forgiving yourself or others. Your loved ones want you to heal, feel better, and to find a ‘New Normal’. They are still connected to you — through your intuition, energy and feelings, rather than in a physical form.
It’s a new year coming – why not make a resolution to work toward a ‘New Normal’? (Hoping your holidays are as peaceful and ‘normal’ as possible) XO.
Supporting the journey to a NEW NORMAL…
More information on my web site & contact me at
617-410-6309 or barbara@abutterflysjourney.com
for a complimentary ‘Healing” conversation.
PS Please consider forwarding this info to someone who suffered a traumatic loss.
