Valentine’s Day is lovely… for all kinds of couples — but what if your valentine is an angel?
After all, this is a holiday about LOVE. Love lives on, it does not end when someone dies. I believe that we can continue a relationship with our loved ones in spirit. Why not have an angel as a valentine?
My angel valentine would be my second husband, Jim, who died suddenly 17 months ago. He was a great living valentine. Jim was kind and thoughtful… rarely did we actually have a romantic dinner alone on Valentine’s Day — which was okay. He always invited one or more of my single girlfriends to join us, so they would not have to dine
alone on the holiday. He would buy us all dinner. Jim was tall and handsome, so walking into a restaurant with his bevy was quite a site! I mean really tall — Jim was 6-feet-9-inches tall (the same height at Larry Bird, the famous Boston Celtics basketball player). He still did romantic things like getting me flowers, candy and a card separately; he was a sweetheart. He’ll always be my angel valentine.
Last year, on my first Valentine’s day without Jim, I had dinner with my son, his wife and my grandson. It was lovely of them to include me. This year, I decided to handle it a little differently.
First, I heard of “Gal-entine’s Day” for ‘Girls Night In’ the day before V-day, so I invited a couple girlfriends over for dinner. We had a great time. After they left, I spent some quiet time thinking about all the wonderful times that Jim and I enjoyed and looked through some photos of us. It felt a little lonely but also very nice. I was blessed to have spent more than twelve years with such a great guy.
For today, Valentine’s Day, I offered to babysit my 19-month-old grandson, Brent (he is named after the son I lost), so my son Brad & his wife could go out for dinner alone. Brent was my Valentine this year. Brad insisted on taking me out to lunch, that was a bonus. Even without my husband, I got to do something fun, help someone else out and spend time with my grandson. It is all about the love.
I feel very blessed to have the supportive family and friends that I do. I cultivate that. I choose to make the best of situations rather than feel sorry for myself. Everyone has tough times. I get lonely like anyone else. Try to take action to make it at least a little better, and to heal a little. We have a choice in how we respond to any situation. It’s not easy. It’s not fast. But it is so worth it.
Maybe next year, I’ll have a new Valentine… who knows?
Happy Valentine’s Day to you!
…helping you find resilience after loss.
Barbara J Hopkinson
Founder & CEO, A Butterfly’s Journey
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