These questions could apply to your life or your grief recovery.
STOP once in a while and think back about how you’d done in the face of adversity or challenge. I bet you’ll be surprised that you are doing better than you think you are!
I was looking at my personal Facebook page this morning for a minute before I got into my work, and Facebook had put something out there that I hadn’t seem before – highlights of the last 5 years. It caught my attention, and I tend to share a lot about my personal life, so it shows up there.
I’d been thinking that I was behind in where I wanted to b e and that I had to find a way to get more done – be more effective – get better results! But these images made me stop and take a look and helped me remember that I’d gotten a ton of things done in the last five years, things meaningful to me. and because they were meaningful to me, they played a part in healing my grief as well.
In addition to checking several things off my bucket list in recent years (I still have a long list!), it made me realize how far I’ve come. Also, when I facilitated my local grief support chapter last evening, most of the participants were newly bereaved. It reminded me of how raw I was and how healed I now am. I feel compassion for them and try to be an example to them of how they can heal – in time. Plus I share things that I’ve learned that I now know helped me the most. But everyone has their own unique journey with grief. We all need to try things and find out what works best for us.
However, it is important, along the way, to realize that you are healing, you are making progress. Even if it seems slow – stop and remember how you were when you first lost your loved one, and how you were after the initial numbness wore off… and how are you are now. Most of the time, you’ve at least started to heal. Give yourself a pat on the back for reaching out to find ways to heal – whether that’s support groups, therapy, spirituality, energy healing, journaling, nutrition, exercise, meditation, deep breathing or quiet time… you are trying. You are slowly healing. It will continue to get better. Trust.
You must find a new normal… life will never be exactly the same, but it will get better. You can be happy again, even after the most devastating loss. I know – I survived huge loss and I am happy and thriving. It may not be easy to have a good attitude after such a difficult loss, but it’s your attitude that will save you… and recognition of your efforts and your progress. Be kind and generous to yourself!
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!
Barbara J Hopkinson, President & Exec Dir.,
A Butterfly’s Journey… To A New Normal
PS Please SHARE this blog with bereaved families you know.