You don’t have tohurting
You CAN choose to stay in acute grief…

But is that what your children would want?
Is that what your loved ones would want?
Is that what YOU really want?

I’m guessing — probably NOT.

At least try to be OPEN to choosing to heal, to try things… do not listen to the naysayers:

  • “You never get over it”
  • “I feel too guilty to feel better”
  • I’m too angry to even think about healing”
  • “I’ll be on these meds forever”
  • “Time changes nothing”
  • “I don’t believe in that…  I’ll never try that… I CAN’T…”  

Of course, life without your loved one has changed – it won’t ever be the SAME…  that’s why you need to find a NEW NORMAL. They want you to heal and be happy again.


HOPEDo you want to live without hope or do you want to heal and find hope again?  Maybe even happiness.  You can, I did, after losing three children and a 30-year marriage.  It takes a lot of time and effort, but it IS possible.

Keep in mind, that it is all about the LOVE.  The love between you and your lost loved one will help you remember the good times, will help you heal.  When focused on those positive memories, rather than the pain and loss, it will help you attract other good things and help you heal.

Some things to try in your grief healing expedition:

  • Journaling or writing letters to your deceased loved ones
  • Meditation or slow deep breathing or quiet time
  • Exercise – indoors or outdoors, something you enjoy
  • Good nutrition – especially lots of dark green veggies
  • Therapy or grief support – in person, phone or online
  • Energy Healing – available in many forms
  • Reading and music
  • Action-based grief classes
  • Helping Others

ForgivenessLoss of a child, especially by trauma such as overdose or suicide is especially tough to forgive yourself for – even though most of us have forgiveness issues about ourselves or others.  Below are a few tips that Dr Gloria Horsley found inspiring from the keynote stories at The Compassionate Friends conference in Dallas:  HuffPost Article

  • Realize that you did the best you could at the time
  • Acknowledge that in the end others have their free agency to live as they please
  • Use your life experience to Help Others
  • Remember that the whole story has yet to be written
  • Embrace the fact that life has meaning
  • Accept the reality that there are and will always be unanswered questions
  • Ask yourself if it is It time to let go and let God


We want to help.  In launching our new non-profit,  A Butterfly’s Journey… To A New Normal,  we are building an online Resource Center with the following categories of resources to help acute grievers.  It is coming soon and will be updated often.  SIGN UP BELOW to receive EARLY FREE ACCESS.  It will be up & running in September!

  • Books & Publications
  • Music & Songs
  • Groups & Organizations
  • Webinars & Workshops
  • Self-Care & Tools
  • Miscellaneous – Other

We’d love to provide you EARLY FREE ACCESS  to tools, links to other grief resources.  (FYI: Our nonprofit site will be live soon as well, using existing ABJ site for now.)

Our goal is to assemble many grief resources in ONE place
– please CONTACT US if you know of a resource that you think we should include, or if there is some area missing that you would like to see added.  No promises… but we will review and consider your ideas, to make this Resource Center as complete as possible!  Thank you!


Color logo
Supporting you on YOUR journey to a new normal.

Barbara J Hopkinson,
President & Exec Dir.,  A Butterfly’s Journey

PS  Please SHARE this blog with any bereaved families you know.






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