Looking for tips to help get through the holidays?
Not sure who to listen to?
Want someone to make it easy and put them in ONE place?
… I know you have ENOUGH to worry about with all you need to do for holidays.
… I know you may not want to do ANY of it.
… I know you can’t remember half of it because early traumatic grief makes you feel dull and unable to focus.
I’ve been there. I get it. So, as a reminder, in one easy place, I’m going to put links here for tips about the holidays, mine and those from several other perspectives.
Then, I’ll highlight one from each source. This way, you can do a quick scan or read varied points of view in detail.
Either way, remember to TAKE CARE OF YOU…
You’ll fare much better… for yourself and others.
A Butterfly’s Journey: “Tips for Surviving Grief During the Holidays“
Grief Net: “Coping with Grief During the Holidays”
Grief Recovery Institute: ““Uh-oh, it’s that time again. Grief and the holidays“
Grief Share: “Survival Tips for Handling the Holidays“
Huffington Post: “Grief At The Holidays: 10 Ways To Cope w/Loss This Season“
Wed MD: “Finding Holiday Joy Amid the Grief“
Here’s my favorite of each – what is yours?
A Butterfly’s Journey:
- TRUST THAT YOUR LOVED ONE’S SPIRIT CONTINUES and that they will be close to you during the holidays. Be open to feel them, and look for signs.
- CONSIDER DOING SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR SOMEONE ELSE. Donate a gift in the memory of your loved one. Donate money you would have spent on your loved one as a gift to charity. Adopt a needy family for the holidays. Invite a guest (foreign student, senior citizen) to share festivities.
Grief Recovery Institute:
- WHAT GRIEVERS WANT — Several years ago we conducted a survey that asked: “What is the best way to act around someone who has just experienced the death of a loved one?” From the multiple choice answers, 98 percent of the respondents chose: “Act as if nothing had happened.” We also surveyed those who had experienced the death of a loved in the past five years. We asked them: “In the weeks and months immediately following the death of your loved one, what did you most want and need to do?” Ninety-four percent responded, “Talk about what happened and my relationship with the person who died.” This holiday season, there will be plenty of hurting people who, given the opportunity, will want to talk about someone they miss. You will be a most cherished friend or family member if the grieving person feels safe enough to talk to you about what is so foremost on his mind and in his heart. If the person doesn’t want to talk about it, don’t be offended.
- DON’T ANESTHETIZE the pain with drugs or alcohol — Numbing emotional distress with chemicals creates more depression.
CARRY OUT A RITUAL that your loved one may have performed over the holiday. Did he go on a Christmas Eve walk? Did she make a point to sit in a particular pew? Carrying out your loved one’s ritual, whatever it may be, is enriching and shows your respect. It could be very healing.
- SAY ‘NO’ IF YOU NEED TO — creating new traditions is part of healing — but it can be hard, says Apollon. “When a mother, father, spouse, or child dies, your heart’s not in it. You don’t feel like doing it.
Do what you can. Maybe you want to go somewhere so you won’t be at home during the holiday. If you want to leave town, take a vacation. You’ve got to do what feels right for you.
Scale back on decorating the house if you don’t feel like it, she adds. Find joy in doing things in a smaller way.
Supporting the journey to HOPE…
PS Please consider forwarding this info to someone who suffered a traumatic loss.