Feel your blessings are hard to find… never mind count?  

Especially if you are grieving a child or loss of a close loved one.  But TRY.  Count your blessings EVEN WHEN IT HURTS…  WHY?  Because it helps you to HEAL.  GRATITUDE has an amazing effect.  This month of Thanksgiving, it is a reminder to be THANKFUL – FOR EVERYTHING.

Are you thankful for the time you had with your loved one – even if it was too short?  I think most of us are.  I know I am.  Every day we had with them was a gift.  Every day we have in our future is a gift – not owed to us.

As much as it hurts to have lost 2 babies, my 21-year-old son Brent, and my 30-year-long first marriage – I am grateful for all of that time, all of that love, all of what I learned.  I’d much rather have had my son Brent for 21 years and endured the pain of loss than never to have known him.  I am very grateful for the wonderful memories of times I shared with my son, good times in my marriage, and even what I learned from those babies.  I grew in some way from all of it, and it gave me a purpose in life, which I now feel is my spiritual destiny. I wouldn’t have known that before – nor could I do this work without that experience.

Don’t misunderstand — I am not grateful that these bad things happened.  I wouldn’t wish them on anyone.  However, I think there must be some Yin and Yang in all things, some level of balance, where something positive may come out of anything.

The loss experiences made me very strong.  I feel impervious to commonplace issues now because I’ve survived the worst that can happen to me.  I more than survived.  I learned from it, took a spiritual journey that changed my life, made me a better person, and I found happiness again.  There were times when I never thought I would, but now that I have, I appreciate it more. I’ve had other serious issues, like losing the sight in my right eye from an accident.  But that didn’t flatten me, like it might have earlier, because of my strength from surviving the loss of my children.

The contrast makes it possible for me to see clearly what is important and what is not… for me.  I no longer tolerate negative people or surroundings.  I have no patience for whining over inconsequential matters, or people being judgmental.  I no longer care much what others think of me.  All of this is very freeing.  I would not have chosen this path to get here, but I’m more confidant than I was.  I am also no longer afraid of death.  I’ve spent so much effort confirming that we all continue, I understand that death is a natural part of life — even when it comes too soon.


We have two choices after loss.  We can wither in the pain and loss or we can use it as a catalyst to improve, better understand and grow. 

Which do you think our deceased loved ones would want for us?  What do you want for yourself?


Supporting the journey to HOPE…       

More information on my 
web site &  contact me at
617-410-6309   or  [email protected] 
for a complimentary ‘Healing” conversation.


Please consider forwarding this info to someone who suffered a traumatic loss.

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